Words from the Allsherjargoði
Autumn is a good time for reflection. There is a stillness and a peace in the air. The ancestors are close and they are on our minds. In the stillness, I try and notice currents in the thoughts of the Folk. One current among our people that I am aware of over the past couple of weeks is a distress over failure and a confusion on how to recover.
As we are blessed with years and live an active life, we inevitably accumulate regrets and failures. We all make choices that, in retrospect, we wish we did not make. We take paths that we wish we had not taken. We may realize we are living in a way we wish we were not. Some of these regrets are great, many are small. Sometimes the realization comes from a crisis, sometimes from introspection. There are three scenarios that have come to my attention that I would like to advise us all to learn to avoid; running, hiding, and doubling down.
Run. Sometimes the embarrassment of a failure is seemingly too much to bear, and so folks will try to outrun it. We feel shame in the eyes of people who know us and judge us and so we run from our peers. We try to start over in a new place or with a new group of people in the hopes we can outrun the reckoning for our mistakes. The trouble in this scenario comes when we don't fix the source of the problem and find the same scenario played out again and again so the running continues and when we are exhausted from running and have wasted years and relationships, the problems catch up and whatever is broken remains.
Hide. Sometimes the shame and regret makes us stop and stall out on the things we want in life. We feel unworthy and as though our lack of worth shines like a warning light over us. We distract ourselves with nonsense and mediocrity and we don't try again lest we fail...again.
Double Down. This one is all about the “sunk cost fallacy.” We have invested time (sometimes many years!), money, relationships into something that is a failure. We know we messed up but the cost has been so high that we cannot rationalize the loss, so we go even harder. Maybe if we invest even more, we can beat the odds; maybe if we keep upping the stakes, we will get a longshot win that will make it all come out right. Even as we are doing it, we know it is delusional, but we can't allow ourselves to suffer the loss, so we burn down all the remaining good things we have to chase the delusion.
All these things are common feelings and common urges. All these ways of addressing failure make the problem worse and all of them sacrifice opportunities for victory, for worth, and for joy.
As I recently advised a caller on Victory Never Sleeps, when you are in a hole, STOP digging. If you are running, stop. If you are hiding, come out into the light. If you keep doubling down on a BAD investment, stop. Take a breath and evaluate where you are, what good things you have in your life, and what resources are available to you. Realize that you cannot undo mistakes you have made or erase the past. You don't have to like it, but if you cannot accept it, you will be a prisoner to it.
We must fix what is broken. What mistakes were made and how do we adjust our mindset so that we don't make those in the future. What damage did we cause to others and what if that can be repaired. At a minimum, apologize to anyone you may have hurt and compensate anyone that is owed compensation. Get back to a place where you and your family are safe, and where your needs are met. Once those basics are covered, the process of rebuilding must begin. We cannot start back where we were; where we were is gone. We must start where we are and build piece by piece from where we are and not where we wish we were. The process of recovery and rebuilding can be slow, but it is noble. Will people judge you for your failures? Absolutely. We all judge each other every day. What is also true is that folks will judge your recovery and your dignity in rebuilding, and, when you achieve them, your victories to come.
Every new day is a chance to move forward and a chance for victory. Never let past failure prevent you from winning today. We ALL have the rest of our lives in front of us and countless opportunities to build our worth, to achieve our dreams, and to live heroically. The best way to fix past failure is with even greater future success. We must always keep our eyes upward to victory. Our gods and ancestors look on, they know we struggle; life is struggle. Our gods and ancestors celebrate those who push through failures and those who persevere.
Always lean on your folk and be someone your folk can lean on. Let us start every day rededicated to victory!
Heill the Æsir!
Heill the Folk!
Heill the AFA!
Heill Victory!
Allsherjargoði Matt Flavel
~ From The Runestone, November 2026 ~
